Battle of the Five Armies Teaser Trailer Released

/ August 13, 2014

On July 28th, while I was waiting for my flight to LeakyCon in Orlando, the Battle of the Five Armies teaser trailer was released. I tried my hardest not to show extreme emotions related to excitement as I watched the trailer on my phone. I think I succeeded, but barely. I mean, there’s so much to get excited about in this trailer. See for yourselves!

Am I right or am I right? As I said, I’m excited about so many things. Shall I make a list? I’ll make a list.

  • Smaug destroying Lake-Town in basically one fell swoop (and breath).
  • Bilbo saying “those who survived and those who did not”. I mean, I’ve read the book a few times, so I know who is supposed to survive (and die) in the end, but who knows? Peter Jackson might change the plot. He’s been known to do that from time to time. (Scouring of the Shire, anyone?)
  • My heart rose to my throat once I heard Billy Boyd singing “Home is behind” (from Return of the King).
  • Galadriel kissing an apparently unconscious Gandalf on the forehead. Obviously, we know that Gandalf survives, because he appears in the three “Lord of the Rings” sequels. (The Hobbit is a prequel to that trilogy.)
  • Along with that music, we have this text: “Witness the defining chapter of the Middle-Earth saga”. My heart sank down to my stomach when I read that. This means there will be no more Middle-Earth movies after this. It’s like Return of the King all over again. I predict emotions ranging from incredible excitement during the intense battle scenes (this is Battle of the Five Armies, after all) to ugly weeping when it’s over—because it’s all over.
  • Dwarves in armor marching off to (what else?) the Battle of the Five Armies. Kili is apparently feeling much better after Tauriel healed him. He will most likely feature prominently in this film, because he is, according to many, the “best looking dwarf” of the thirteen, which by the laws of Hollywood, equates to more screen time.
  • Ooh! Look at Legolas! Dramatic look into the distance.
  • Bard the Bowman! And Elvish warriors catching him off guard by turning 90 degrees and what not.
  • Chariot racing of some sort (not actually). Banging into things with spiked wheels.
  • Bard asking, “Will you have peace or war?” Thorin answering, “War, duh.”
  • Thranduil actually left his realm to fight? Oh, that’s right, there’s something (gold) in it for him.
  • The Pale Orc. Armies. Another orc. More armies. Bard. Armies clash. THE EYE OF SAURON.
  • Elvish army ready to release arrows and then we have… Gandalf in their midst! Just like the book!
  • DECEMBER 17th, WHY ARE YOU SO FAR AWAY. I WANT YOU TO BE HERE NOW.

Are there any bullet points that you would have added above? Share them in the comments!

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